The following conversation was overheard backstage

The following conversation was overheard backstage

Postby Jennythenipper on 25 Jul 2007 13:18

Andy: So Stewart, what the deal with the green flag you keep pointing at.

Stewart: Oh it's my fans from my internet forum. They made this flag with the forum logo on it and are trying to bring it to as many shows as possible and wave it so that I can see it.

Andy: Internet forum?

Stewart: Yeah, you gotta get you one of those. It's a place where your fans can post messages about you and make plans to meet and stuff.

Andy: huh. Whaddya no.

Sting: What are you two on about?

Andy: Stewart's Internet forum.

Sting: The Tube sock people! ? They all need a life.

Stewart: You mean like Stingus?

Sting: So anyway, what's the deal with the green flag?

Stewart: What's the deal with your chef?

Sting: Fuck you, Stewart.

Stewart: Fuck you, Sting.

Andy: guys...
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Postby New Zealand Promoter on 25 Jul 2007 13:28

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Postby DirtyMartini on 25 Jul 2007 13:32

HA! Very nice, jenny.
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Postby Lynne on 25 Jul 2007 13:33

Heh heh, excellent.
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Postby BongoBoy on 25 Jul 2007 13:39

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Re: The following conversation was overheard backstage

Postby Rusty James on 25 Jul 2007 15:46

[quote="Jennythenipper"]Andy: Internet forum?

Homer Simpson: Did you know the internet is on computers now? :lol:
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Postby ShiatsuGirl on 25 Jul 2007 15:54

:lol: :lol: :lol: Love it!
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Postby jeffdaweasel on 25 Jul 2007 15:55

(a little while later)

Andy: Hey guys, did one of you happen to pick up that purple thong that was flung onstage?

Stewart: Purple thong?

Andy: Yeah, during "Wrapped Around Your Finger". Purple thong with a small pink rose ribbon in the front.

Stewart: I was a little busy on the percussion kit at the time, Andy.

Andy: Oh, right. Sting? Did you grab that thong?

Sting: Thong? Andy, you know I had to rush offstage to practice my lute. I have no time for womens' underwear, man.

Andy: Damn, I'll bet the crew already got it. I wanted that for my collection.

Stewart: Wait, was it flung onstage by that woman, maybe 25, third row, huuuuuuge tits?

Andy: I didn't notice.

Stewart (disappointed): Oh.

Sting: Just do what I do, Andy. Have each member of the crew interrogated and tortured until one of them coughs up the thong.

Andy (horrified): Right. Er... that seems kind of harsh, Sting.

Sting: Harsh? But they're just the crew.

Stewart: Are you sure she wasn't the one with the giant boobs, Andy?

Andy: I really don't know, Stew.

Stewart: Oh waiit! Was it while you were playing the F# minor?

Andy: There is no F# minor in that song, Stew.

Stewart: Ah. Never mind. Hey, where'd Sting go?

(sounds of lute drifting from private dressing room)
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Postby Throb on 25 Jul 2007 16:02

Very funny. Was the flag at the shows I was at, Las Vegas and Anaheim, CA? If it was, I'm sorry I missed it. I recently joined this after streaming the Cleveland radio show at home the last five hours and reading all the postings on the thread. It was probably the most fun I have had with a computer. Since my wife and kids thought I was insane for having the music blasting and not coming out of the computer room for five hours, I knew I had to find a perfect place to share my obsessiveness with all things Police.
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Postby phaty on 25 Jul 2007 17:14



Postby Kalypso on 25 Jul 2007 17:16

Weasel, you live in LA, ever tried screenwriting???? 8) 8)

[Andy to Sting and Stewart: wait a minute...Isn't that the Girl In The Brown Dress that we just passed by at the Hotel? She has been following us for a while...]
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Postby Grace on 25 Jul 2007 18:47

Weasel: Did that Purple thong belong to Conroy by chance?

He's the king of undies lately. The rest of us just sock.
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Postby Jennythenipper on 25 Jul 2007 19:01

And even still later...back at the hotel

Andy: It's nice to just chill here in the hotel lobby.

Stewart: Fuck ya! Another town another another leatherette sofa.

Sting: Have you guys seen my yoga pants. I can't find them anywhere?

Stewart: What would I want with your yoga pants? Why don't you ask your chef?

Andy: How come you get all the jokes and I get all the plot exposition?

Sting: It's in your contract. Didn't Miles fax over the backstage banter addendum?

Andy: No. I'm always the last to know. And speaking of which. I requested a fresh pair of pink trainers at every venue and haven't seen a single shoe.

Sting: Well maybe if you'd be less in Idaho with that F major 7 chord.

Stewart:(plugs fingers in ears) la, la la, not slistening, la la.

(Andy punches Stewart in the arm)

Stewart: ouch. These babies are my mealticket man. Ease up. They're each insured for a million pounds.

Andy: I was just saying, I think that er, woman over there is trying to get your attention.

Stewart: quick, Sting, hand me that magazine (Stewart ducks behind copy of Ye Olde Lute Times).

Lu Ann from Cleveland: Oh Stewart, Stewart! I see you. Did you get my thong, that I threw on stage?

Sting: No, I think one of the crew got it.

Andy: No actually I interrogated the whole crew and none of them have it.

Stewart: Perhaps if you could describe the item miss.

Lu Ann: Well it was purple. And a thong. That's about it.

Sting: Hey wait a minute. That sounds like my yoga pants!

Andy and Stewart: EWWWW! be continued
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Postby bella on 25 Jul 2007 19:07

Can't wait to see what happens next!!!!
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Postby jeffdaweasel on 25 Jul 2007 19:17

(a few minutes later)

Waitress: Okay, I have your drinks ready.

The three guys: Yay! Drinks!

Waitress: Let's see if we got this right. One pint of Guinness, room temperature, for the older gentleman.

Andy: Watch it, toots.

Waitress: One 'Sex On the Beach' for the handsome man in the glasses.

Stewart (focused on her chest): Mmmm, thanks.

Waitress: And one smoothie with watercress, carrot, broccoli, celery, papaya, and ayahuasca juice for, uh...

(STING is looking away, staring into hand mirror)

Andy: Just leave it on the table, miss.

LueAnn: So, are you guys ALL musicians?

Sting (turning attention back to table): Well, Andy and I are.

Stewart: Fuck off, you cunt.

Sting (yawning): Yeah, yeah...

Andy (downing his pint): Well lads, I'd better get up to my room.

Stewart (checking watch): Wow, Andy. It's like 9:30. Way past your bedtime.

LueAnn: Wow, really?

Stewart: Never mind, honey.

Sting, turning head to and fro: Do you guys think I should face a little more to the left when we play Boston? It makes me look like I'm actually interacting with Andy when I do that.

Stewart: But your right side is so much prettier.

Sting: Oh! Good point.

(STING gets up, in the process executing a difficult yoga maneuver on top of table)

Sting: Well, off to have tantric sex for seven or eight hours, and then run 20 miles. See you in the morning, then!

LueAnn: Well, I guess it's just you and me, Steven.

Stewart: It's Stewart.

LueAnn: What?

Stewart: Never mind.
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