by Lynne on 31 Jul 2007 14:04
This is for Kalypso:
Early Wednesday morning, New York: Kalypso sneaks carefully into Stewart’s dressing room. She looks over her shoulder, then removes some clothing from a drawer, stuffing it under her voluminous poncho. She empties a small bag into the drawer, then catlike, slinks out into the hazy dawn of a summer morning.
Later that morning, she meets her co-conspirators at a dive bar in the East Village.
Kimmy [her eyes wide and somewhat glazed]: Did you get them?
Kalypso [beaming]: Yep, sure did, one for each of us!
Lynne [almost buzzing she's so excited]: Excellent, well done! C'mon, hand 'em over …
[Kalypso hands over a pair of white pants and a Leroy Coolbreeze shirt to each of them, keeping the third set for herself. They laugh madly for a few seconds. Kimmy seems particularly transfixed by the white pants sitting in her lap. A round of tequila shots later and they seem a little more relaxed.]
Lynne: How'd you get the old stuff?
Kalypso: eBay is a miracle of the modern world!
[More laughter …]
Kimmy: OK, let's go. See you at the meetup before the show.
The scene backstage before the MSG show Wednesday: Sting is wearing his sleeveless white t-shirt, black jeans, and black boots; Andy wears a white shirt, black pants and a jacket. Stewart is wearing short green shorts and a tight yellow t-shirt, with a small white towel draped over his shoulders, and he’s bouncing up and down, back and forth on the balls of his feet, staring at a focal point on the ground in front of him (what Sting would call a dristi if they were doing yoga).
Sting: Hey Stewart, what’s with the getup?
Stewart: Ever since that roadie Kalypso was here doing wardrobe, all of my white pants and Leroy shirts have disappeared! They’ve been mysteriously replaced by these old things.
[Andy snickers and rolls his eyes; Stewart glares at him.]
Sting: Sounds like a conspiracy of some of those freaky fans of yours, to get you back into your cucumber and lemon kit.
Stewart: They still fit, so what the hell?
Sting: And they’ll probably be waving that ridiculous flag again too, won’t they?
Stewart: Fuck off, Stingo; you're just jealous that my fans are so innovative and uninhibited.
Andy: Just don't stand so close to me when we finish; you clash horribly with my pink trainers.
K, K, & L are in a front section, waving the Flag in a conspicuous yet non-asshat-ish way, grinning madly as the show begins.
At the end, when the band take their bows, Stewart strides out around the drum kit to reveal a pair of green striped tube socks to accompany his Nike trainers. He searches the crowd, fixes on the flag, points at it and then himself, and shouts,
"IT STILL FITS!"