The following conversation was overheard backstage

Postby TheEqualizer on 22 Aug 2007 16:48

I bash Sting because I love him. Seriously. All in fun. Don't want to see any "This site does nothing but bash Stingo day and night." Seriously. Stingo's my bass player and more importantly he's my lead singer. (ducking in anticipation of onslaught from Sting lovers regardless)
There is no bigger gong.
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Postby sandy on 22 Aug 2007 17:31

omg! had me laughing at my desk-people wondering what the hell i'm laughing at!! :lol: :lol:
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Postby TheEqualizer on 22 Aug 2007 17:41

Good to hear you liked it. :)
There is no bigger gong.
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Postby Kalypso on 22 Aug 2007 18:09

Yup, EQUA, much fun at the rabid MoneyMaker Stingo, but Sean Kinney has trademarked the I HIT THINGS WITH STICKS sentence :lol: :lol: :lol: [I don't know if any of you is an Alice In Chains fans, but it's on the Nona Tapes].
"Loa-ded, and ready for a-ction! [wink]"
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Postby TheEqualizer on 22 Aug 2007 18:13

Maybe I should edit that post so Sting will not have to pay a royalty to Sean. :)
There is no bigger gong.
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Postby Kalypso on 22 Aug 2007 18:14

Or LueAnn the Sentence (~~~~~)
"Loa-ded, and ready for a-ction! [wink]"
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Postby IndyGirl on 23 Aug 2007 02:26

EQ, loved the Zappos.com reference. Those people know my address well.
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Postby English-lion on 23 Aug 2007 04:22

8) 8) 8) kool EQ
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Postby DirtyMartini on 30 Aug 2007 15:56

Stockholm, Sweden
Backstage
Opening Night of the European Leg of the Police Tour
2 minutes before Gong

[Sting and Andy are strapping on their guitars. Stewart bounces in.]

STEWART: Hey, guys -- how do I look?
STING: Like a tulip.
ANDY: Like a god.
STING: Like a tulip god.
STEWART: Cool.

[Stewart walks away to get in position on his drum riser.]

STING: Did Stewart get a haircut?
ANDY: I don't know.
STING: I think he got a haircut.
ANDY: I hadn't noticed.
STING: Didn't he look rather . . . normal to you?
ANDY: Stewart? Never.
STING: Not quite so . . . mental patienty as usual?
ANDY: He brushed his teeth. You're blinded by the glare.
STING: I don't know. Something's different.
ANDY: Quit your belly-aching, you old tart.
STING: He's got his gloves? And his earplugs?
ANDY: Yes, mum, and his wellies, too. Do be a love and hold this while I knit him a muffler.
STING: Fuck off.
ANDY: Open with "Mother" then, yeah, mum?
STING: Twat.

[Andy laughs. The house lights go out, and thousands of people scream and applaud in anticipation. Andy walks into position and prepares to enter.

One of Andy's minions rushes quickly to his side. He holds an open box labeled "STEWART." Inside can be see a multi-colored array of headbands.]

MINION: Mr. Summers, sir -- I held on to these like you asked. But what should I do with them?
ANDY: Stick 'em in my dressing room. Mwuhahahahaha.
MINION: Pardon, sir?
ANDY: I said, "Mwuhahahahaha."
MINION: I'm sorry, sir -- is that where I'm supposed to put these, sir?
ANDY: That was my evil laugh. Never mind. Forget it.
MINION: Sir, will Mr. Copeland be wanting a towel or something? He works up quite a sweat.
ANDY: Ah, but who needs a towel when you've got a flag?

[cue ominous music: DUN DUN DUUUUUUN]

MINION: Did you just hear ominous music, sir?
ANDY: Put the box in my dressing room, please.

[The soft sound of the warming gong rises in the air.]

MINION: What are these for anyway, sir?
ANDY: I'm knitting a guitar cosy.



(Thanks to SamburuSunset for the idea.)
Dramatic highlights & a unique musical cosmos. Guaranteed.
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Postby sandy on 30 Aug 2007 16:01

omg! :lol: :lol: :lol: DM, that was great! loved the lines:
STING: I don't know. Something's different.
ANDY: Quit your belly-aching, you old tart.
STING: He's got his gloves? And his earplugs?
ANDY: Yes, mum, and his wellies, too. Do be a love and hold this while I knit him a muffler.
STING: Fuck off.
ANDY: Open with "Mother" then, yeah, mum?
STING: Twat.

classic! :lol:
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Postby sandy on 30 Aug 2007 16:03

my workmates are wondering what the hell i'm giggling about! :wink:
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Postby TheEqualizer on 30 Aug 2007 17:25

"who needs a towel when you've got a flag?" Classic. :lol: :lol: :lol:
There is no bigger gong.
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Postby Kalypso on 30 Aug 2007 17:52

Andy: OMG, These sneakers are GREEN! AND YELLOW!!!! URINE YELLOW!!!
Minion: That was in your message, sir. I did exactly what you asked. The pink sneakers have been donated to Sotheby's as per your instructions.
Andy (holding on a pole) I ...asked ...you...what?
Sting: ANDY! MOVE ON! PEOPLE ARE WAITING? WTF are those horrendous sneakers of yours? They don't match your outfit at all! BTW, have you put on more weight or has your jacket shrunk even more?
Minion: I had it machine-washed as per your instructions, sir...
By the way, what you told me to get in your dressing room has gone missing.
Andy (red in the face): Get Miles on the phone during intermission!!!

(Stewart pulls out a brand new headband from his shorts pocket and puts it on) ...When you're ready, guys??? A moonbeam intercepts his blinding smile.
:twisted:
"Loa-ded, and ready for a-ction! [wink]"
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Postby Lynne on 30 Aug 2007 19:32

Excellent! I dip in for a quick visit on the one day we're in town and at the coffeehouse, and this is waiting for me. Outstanding. Tee hee!
... trained by the CIA to accept vast quantities of information at high speed in binary code
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Postby empty on 30 Aug 2007 20:13

STEWART: Guys! Come Over Here! Have You Seen? It's MY FLAG! It's right here in the front row!
STING: MUST AVERT MY EYES! Nooooooooooooooo!
[i]Sting quickly folds into Pada Hastasana to avoid eye to flag contact[/i]

ANDY:Oh for fucks sake Stewart!Of Course we've SEEN it! Nearly every bloody show and now staring right at us from the front row- AGAIN!
STING: [i]mumbling because his head is between his knees[/i]It's been there before?
STEWART: [i]beaming[/i]Yes! Miami!
ANDY: Yes, but this time it's being held by a tasty little morsel.mmmmmmmmm
STEWART: Gross. These are my peeps. You can't letch on my peeps!
ANDY: Don't worry, I am totally equal opportunity.

Suddenly, Sting Minion rushes to the stage with a bucket.

MINION: Mr. Sting Sir, I've brought you a bucket.
STING: Whatever the fuck for????
MINION:Well, I saw you bent over and thought you might need to vomit.
STING: Well, if his fuckin flag keeps staring at me front and center, I might! But, no you dimwit, that was yoga. It relaxes me and reverse ages me.

STEWART: But guys! My flag! Look!
ANDY: I can't take it anymore. Are we going to play 'Next to You' or not?
STING: Yes. Let's. Stewart? Stewart? STEWART!!!!!!!
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