Page 9 of 19

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 22:38
by Kalypso
[Joe Sumner (fuming at soundcheck)]:
I'm NOT going to wear any sweater knit by that BIATCH of my stepmom!
I'm NOT stop and sign autograph for some silly girls that think I'm glistening...
I want my two personal assistants ready with towels at the end of the set!!!
As soon as Father lands I will strut in front of him shaking my Mighty Mane...that will remind him that he should NOT do this stoopid retirement tour and let Fiction Plane be the main attraction!
P.S. Remind to self to tell that wanker of a journalist that MY music or my voice do NOT resemble those of my old man!

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 01:03
by English-lion
Love reading this it reminds me of when I was in high school doing the exact some thing for my friends "As the stomach turns"

I do remember a line a wrote:
She was hitting him on the head with a frying pan to the beat of love me tender!

the things you remember :roll:

keep it coming I love this 8) 8)

[quote="TheEqualizer"]I think Sting is allowed to use aerosol hairspray due to all of his free carbon credits[/quote]



I don't know about that the hairspray might unglue the hair plugs :shock:

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:05
by Nessy1337
not glistening...glowing!! haha Your so talented. Super funny......this is better than a soap opera.

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:10
by Kalypso
Thank you Ness! I used to write stuff like that in my teens. For some reason I thought of Eve against Eve or the new generation overcoming the old, and Joe was the perfect "target"...Especially since he looks a lot like Father and is a bandleader... When I read the account of the teenage fans, I could not resist having a MiniMe in the soap.

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:20
by kimmy
Bring back STEWART!!!!!


It's very very funny Stingo bashing, but I have to admit I like it more when Stewart is in it...... Stingo bashing......


You guys are just FAB....


Keep writing...

Kimmy

:wink:

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:24
by Kalypso
Kimmy,

Let's call Jen to her task. Weasel is a little depressed, and with very good reason.

I.Could.Never.Write.Fiction.About.Stewart.
Not on his board anyway.
Nor any other public place.
It's just that the man paralyzes my brain. :shock:

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:25
by Lynne
[quote="Kalypso"]Kimmy,

Let's call Jen to her task. Weasel is a little depressed, and with very good reason.

I.Could.Never.Write.Fiction.About.Stewart.
Not on his board anyway.
Nor any other public place.
It's just that the man paralyzes my brain. :shock:[/quote]

OK, I am beginning to think that we *are* separated at birth!

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:28
by Kalypso
I never thought I'd have anybody understand the "paralysis" syndrome!!! :shock: :D

I am beginning to think that we are really only separated by your ability with maths. I suck. Really Suck as in I cannot sum up my hours on my timesheet.

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:38
by Lynne
[quote="Kalypso"]
I am beginning to think that we are really only separated by your ability with maths. I suck. Really Suck as in I cannot sum up my hours on my timesheet.[/quote]

Yeah, love math. Don't love the self conscious feeling that accompanies creative fan fic, which is why what I wrote above was primarily about you, me, and Kimmy!

Put your timesheet in a spreadsheet and let it do the heavy lifting for you ...

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:39
by Kalypso
"Put your timesheet in a spreadsheet and let it do the heavy lifting for you ..."

:lol: Do you really think I ever succeeded in using Excel, except for lists and columns? :lol:

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:45
by Lynne
[quote="Kalypso"]"Put your timesheet in a spreadsheet and let it do the heavy lifting for you ..."

:lol: Do you really think I ever succeeded in using Excel, except for lists and columns? :lol:[/quote]

Formulas, baby, formulas are a math-o-phobe's BFF! If you are a visual thinker there are even ways to make them more intuitive that we could discuss ... but not here! Where's Jen and our next installment?

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:49
by bella
STEWART: Stewart Copeland here - I have a flag Sting doesn't - what can I do for you ... !

CALLER: Stewart! How are you?

STEWART: Who is this?

SIMON: It’s Simon Cowell. You know, from American Idol.

STEWART: Oh, I have a flag. Did you hear?

SIMON: Um… yeahhhh…

STEWART: Yeah, My fans wave it at me at each show. Aren’t they the best?

SIMON: Well..yeah, that’s real nice, Stewart. I wanted to ask---

STEWART: Yeah, it’s the coolest. I think Sting is pissssssed that his fans didn’t think of it first. But then, what would they do for him? He has no LOGO! What would they put on the flag? Sting in a tantric knot?

SIMON: Ummm. I don’t know… But Stewart, I called because I wanted----

STEWART: Or better yet. A big bumble bee??? Ha! THAT’s real manly. A cute wittle bumble bee for Stingy Wingy.

SIMON: STEWART! Can I speak??

STEWART: Oh. Yeah! What are you waiting for? Sheesh!

SIMON: Right then. I wanted to know if you would like to be a guest judge on the next American Idol.

STEWART: But Simon….umm. I’m not a singer. I’m a drummer!

SIMON: Yeah, yeah, we know all that. Your voice is quite horrendous. Possibly the wors----

STEWART: HEY there buddy. That’s enough. I AM in the biggest band in the universe!! Don’t you forget that!!!

SIMON: Right, Right. Anyway. We saw you on “Just The Two of Us” and thought you were great. We just loved you as a judge on that show.

STEWART: Oh yeah? You liked me on that show? Yeah, I was pretty good, wasn’t I?

SIMON: Your comments were so biting…and anyway, I get really tired of taking all the heat from the crowd.

STEWART: Yeah, I thought I did pretty well and it was really fun tearing those people apart. I sure do love ridiculing others…..sigh…. [Stew’s thoughts trail off to who-knows-where]

SIMON: Stewart….Stewart…are you still there? STEWART!!!

STEWART: OH! Oh. Sorry Simon. Just reliving the moments….yeah. So. Yeah. Um. About this American idol thing.

SIMON: Yes?

STEWART: Will there be a flag?

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 20:53
by Lynne
Excellent! Well done. I like the wistful nostalgia for ridiculing in the days of yore ...

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 21:01
by Kalypso
Bella, you are quite the Talent, aren't you, Lois Lane?
You don't know how I wish I Had ALL THE RECORDINGS of the show where Stew was a critic...He is so unforgiving with himself (or the Petulant Pansy or the Guy in Idaho) that I can only imagine how he would destroy the ego of the amateur...How cruel(!)
Was it him writing in the blog that most English people wondered "who is that American guy in glasses?"

My, I'd rather much face Simon Cowell if there were a bass player contest (can You imagine Bass Idol?)

PostPosted: 02 Aug 2007 21:25
by DirtyMartini
[quote="mtobinjones"]
We're talking about devottees. Worshipers of the flag. He has flags. He has t-shirts and NOW the flag has t-shirts!
[/quote]

Hell yeah, we do.