Page 8 of 19

PostPosted: 31 Jul 2007 15:25
by TheEqualizer
Now we have to figure out how to get Kalypso hired as roadie.

PostPosted: 31 Jul 2007 18:26
by Kalypso
Piece of cake! I know my way about assembling and dismounting kits wearing a Les Claypool mask and cowboy hat, and can provide an endless supply of lemon and cucumber uniforms (freshly steamed and still fitting). Oh, I also have a new pair of striped lemon&green sneakers for Andy and a tee shirt for Stingo!

P.S. Thank you Jen...I was ROTFLMAOing while reading.... :lol: 8)

PostPosted: 31 Jul 2007 18:53
by Lynne
[quote="Kalypso"]Piece of cake! I know my way about assembling and dismounting kits wearing a Les Claypool mask and cowboy hat, and can provide an endless supply of lemon and cucumber uniforms (freshly steamed and still fitting). Oh, I also have a new pair of striped lemon&green sneakers for Andy and a tee shirt for Stingo!

P.S. Thank you Jen...I was ROTFLMAOing while reading.... :lol: 8)[/quote]

You're welcome! I'm not much of one for dialog writing, but I enjoyed envisioning you creeping about and us surreptitiously getting together in a dive bar to divvy up the stash!

PostPosted: 31 Jul 2007 18:56
by Kalypso
Fuck, Lynne, Sorry about confusing you with Jen! I do think you have the talent! :D

PostPosted: 31 Jul 2007 19:00
by Lynne
[quote="Kalypso"]Fuck, Lynne, Sorry about confusing you with Jen! I do think you have the talent! :D[/quote]

No worries!

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 04:30
by English-lion
Eagerly waiting for next installment 8) 8) 8) 8) :D

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 20:12
by Jennythenipper
One night backstage in Sting's dressing room.

(The sound of a shower burning softly as Trudie sits at the makeup counter with a stack of white t-shirts and a scissors.)

Tour Manager: 5 minutes till curtain.

Trudie: HE's still in the shower.

Tour Manager: I'll go find facilities. They'll need to cut off the water...again.

Trudie: (raising her voice to be heard above shower) Right, darling, the tour manger fellow was just here. He said "five minutes."

Sting: I'll be out in moment. Awwwwwww! Fuck!

Trudie: What is it darling?

Sting: The water's gone off again. Didn't that happen last night?

Trudie: I don't know. These cities in America all blur together.

(Sting emerges from the shower in Feyd Reutha style bikini, and stretches his arms upward.)

Sting: I will kill him!!

Trudie: Who?

Sting: Whoever turned off my water.

Trudie: Oh that. Would you like another honey and lemon dear?

Sting: Thanks. Almost done with my shirt?

Trudie: Yes. How do you like it? (Hold's up sleevless t-shirt with little holes cut in it for venitlation. A pile of scraps tumbles from her lap to the floor).

Sting: Perfect. Only...

Trudie: yes?

Sting: Well I specifically said a 8 holes on the right side and 9 holes on the left. You've got it backwards.

Trudie: I thought you meant stage left.

Sting: Oh, true. Yes you're right. Well, it'll have to do. We go in four hours.

Trudie: Minutes. You go on in four minutes.

Sting: Right. I always get hours and minutes confused, don't I? Well, I'll just go put this on and then you can get started on the flag.

Trudie: (Looks at pile of shirts) I still don't see how I'm going to make a flag out of recycled t-shirt sleeves. I know it would be wasteful to buy fabric, but isn't it a little wasteful to cut up a fresh t-shirt every night?

Sting: Not if you can recycle the scraps into my flag.

Trudie: (Rolling eyes as if they've maybe had this conversation before.)
I'll do my best.

Sting: Trudie!!

Trudie: What is it darling?

Sting: It's my pants. Someone has stolen my 289 pairs of skin tight black trousers!

Trudie: Thieves! This tour is crawling with thieves. Didn't you say that Stewart had his trouser's stolen as well? I'm going to phone Mi--Wait a minute. Here they are.

Sting: Where?

Trudie: Here, inside this big laundry cart.

Sting: Oh.

Trudie: You sound disappointed darling.

Sting: Well it just feels a little like I'm left out is all. Everyone's very nice, but no one tries to take my pants or make me a flag.

Trudie: I'll take your trousers.

Sting: Oh, it won't be the same. I'll know it's you.

Tour Manger: Show time, Sting! You ready?

Sting: Yes! Here we go, Cleveland!

Tour Manager: It's Boston, Sting. Fenway Park.

Sting: I really am a walking parody aren't I.

Trudie: If the cucumber wrapped in tinfoil fits?

Sting: That was so unfair. It was for my macrobiotic diet. You know we're between chefs right now.

Tour Manager: We really have to go.

Sting:I'm right behind you. Now darling don't forget to book the Concord tickets I mentioned earlier.

Trudie:Explain to me later why we need to fly on the Concord to get to the Global Warming Summit.

Sting:I'm giving a speech.

Trudie: Right. Break a leg darling.

Sting: Thanks. Don't forget the tickets, then.

Trudie: Sigh.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 20:15
by jeffdaweasel
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Nicely done. I'll have to give some serious thought to the next contribution. You've upped the ante here.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 20:33
by TheEqualizer
"I really am a walking parody aren't I?"

Another fantastic installment Jen.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 20:36
by Kalypso
He's an easy target, ain't he??? 8) 8) 8) 8)

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 21:30
by Jennythenipper
I feel like I could right Sting and Trudie forever. It's just so easy. They are easy targets, yes, but it's more. I actually feel affectionate for the characters as I've drawn them. I'm starting to think of them as if they were on one of those low key British sit coms about a middle aged couple, like the Good Life or As Time Goes By.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 22:17
by empty
Meanwhile, on the flight from Boston to Hartford:

Sting:Trudie, what are you knitting?

Trudie: Tshirts. I am having all the kids fly in to New York and I am knitting shirts for all of them.

Sting: Great idea darling...ummm. why?

Trudie: Well, you have seemed a little down lately. And it's really not fair. I mean, there you are looking younger and more fit than ever, with all those women drooling after you, and yet none of them seem organized enough to put together a sign or banner.

Sting:What a great idea! Are you knitting a flag?

Trudie: No, dear. T-shirts. in Boston, they had Stewart's flag and those sc.nutter tshirts and then there is also some sort of organic movement. t's not just the flag but flag groupies!!!

Sting: I have groupies.

Trudie: That's nice dear. But really. We're not talking about Lue Anne again. We're talking about devottees. Worshipers of the flag. He has flags. He has t-shirts and NOW the flag has t-shirts! I mean really, all we have are those damn Blue Turtle shirts everywhere.

Sting: I don't understand it. Can we buy some people for a flag?

Trudie: Not here dear. And I keep telling you, we don't own those people. They are merely the help. It's why we need a new chef.

Sting: So, how's the flag going?
Trudie:shirts. I'm on the first one now.

Sting: The first one? You don't have time. Those will take hours.

Trudie: No dear, it'll take minutes. I can finish a lot quicker than you think.

Sting: Oh. Well, can we get Joe to wear one?

Trudie: Definitely. But you may have to show up earlier at those FP gigs then.

Sting: All right. But only if they don't conflict with my guest appearances at the yoga studios. You know those yoga endorsements are lucrative.

Trudie: Yes dear. Now go stretch. I have knitting to do.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 22:30
by empty
2 minutes later....

Sting: I've just had the best nap. I slept for hours.

Trudie: You were gone two minutes dear.

Sting. Oh. Yes, right well, how are the sweaters coming?

Trudie:just finishing Joe's. Tell me dear, why are we flying from Boston to Hartford? It takes longer than driving. and now we have to pay for carbon credits.

Sting: Well, the other boys are being driven. And I just need to remind them why I only have one name every now and again. Besides, I had a bunch of free frequent carbon miles.

Trudie: That's true dear. I've been thinking. Maybe if you spoke to your fans every once in a while on the Internet, they'd rally round and create a flag.

Sting: talk to my fans? how?

Trudie: On the Internet dear. Stewart used to do it all the time before you had your little hissy fit after being called a pansy.

Sting: He said that on the Internet?

Trudie: Yes dear. That's how Reuters found it. On the Internet.

Sting: You can find things on the Internet?

Trudie: <deep sigh> Yes dear, Joe can show you. How about you fetch us another cup of tea?

Sting:All right then. I'll get the chef.

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 22:31
by Lynne
Excellent job on both counts of weaving in the running themes! Oh, and making me laugh until I cry again. Thank you!

PostPosted: 01 Aug 2007 22:35
by TheEqualizer
I think Sting is allowed to use aerosol hairspray due to all of his free carbon credits